Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Episode 4: An Alchemist's Anguish
Oshimeter
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READTHROUGH
The Curtain Rises
On a dark stage, Izumi and Sig Curtis emerge, striking a powerful, stoic pose. Their dramatic entrance is abruptly shattered by a loud, wet gurgle from Sig's stomach, punctuated by a comical splatter of blood. Both characters look startled and embarrassed, their tough facade crumbling as Izumi quickly carries Sig off-stage. The distinct wail of an ambulance siren fades into the background.
Winry's Medical Malpractice
Winry Rockbell takes charge in a high-energy, medical-themed segment, barking urgent orders. She instructs Paninya to boil water and gather towels, and commands Mr. Riedel to disinfect the area with frantic urgency. The created tension immediately collapses when Winry casually announces she is leaving to find a real doctor, sticking her head out a door. The remaining characters, including a ghostly Alphonse, erupt in screams of terror.
The Cost of Free
Adult-voiced Edward and Alphonse are camping in a dark forest, spotting what they believe are adorable fox cubs. They toss a piece of meat towards the shadows, only for the 'cubs' to be revealed as cardboard cutouts falling into a pit trap. Younger, mischievous versions of Ed and Al emerge, cheering about their successful prank. Izumi is impressed by their cleverness, but Sig dryly remarks that they are merely growing up to be 'assholes.'
Dolcetto's Dogged Instinct
Greed converses with Dolcetto, who attempts a cool, meditative pose. Greed expresses skepticism about being mixed with a dog, but Dolcetto insists his new body is handy. Greed immediately tests this by pulling out a frisbee and shouting, 'Fetch!' Dolcetto’s canine instincts instantly override his composure, and he leaps to catch the disc, behaving exactly like an excited pet.
Fuhrer's Commute
King Bradley, in civilian attire but still carrying his swords and eye patch, endures a modern, incredibly crowded commuter train. His scabbards constantly bump into other passengers, leading to angry accusations of him being a 'pervert.' The situation worsens when the train reaches Shinjuku, and Bradley gets stuck in the closing doors, unable to exit. Later, he complains to his soldiers about needing a private car, prompting them to ask if 'people were mean to him on the subway again.'
The Author's Dance
The episode concludes with a special ending segment featuring a small, bespectacled cow character, the self-insert avatar of manga creator Hiromu Arakawa. The cow performs a rhythmic, repetitive dance routine against a black background as Japanese credits scroll. Upbeat, playful music reinforces the comedic tone of the special. After the credits finish, the cow makes a final pose, and the red curtains close, officially ending the collection of shorts.

